The Frizzy Fibro
Fighting fibromyalgia & humidity daily.

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Gracious Gifts for your Galentine*

*if your Galentine has a chronic illness

It’s the most wonderful time of the year – GALENTINE’S DAY! I had never really been one for Valentine’s Day (despite having been in a relationship for my entire adult life), but when Parks & Recreation made Galentine’s Day a trend in the mid-2000’s, I immediately jumped on board. As far as I am concerned, February 13 is the true highlight of the month.

As someone with chronic illness, I am often asked how friends can be supportive or show they care on days like Galentine’s Day (or any day!). It might seem simple, but sometimes the most basic of gestures is enough to brighten a chronic sufferer’s day or lift their spirits. To make it easy, I am giving you 5 Gracious Gifts for your Galentine.

cozy chair
Find a cozy spot and settle in for some entertainment

#1 Plan a movie night or day long series binge

A lot of the times, going out is not an option for chronic illness sufferers. We know the feeling of FOMO all too well because we constantly have to say no to activities we cannot commit to being well enough for. Your Galentine will surely be touched by you showing up in your comfy clothes (or full on PJs) with snacks and a plan to spend the day watching Cheer on Netflix. You likely have plans of doing this alone at some point during the weekend, but by reaching out to your friend, you are showing her that you prioritize spending time together and her health.

Low-effort sweets taste sweeter

#2 Have a no-bake, baking day

This is something I did with two of my girlfriends this weekend. We got together at my friend Helen’s house to make some Valentine’s themed treats – none of which required any baking. We made some really cute Rice Krispies treats and chocolate covered strawberries and Oreo cookies. What is nice about making these kinds of desserts is that they do not take a lot of prep or bake time, which means less standing and work for your Galentine who may not be well enough to stand in front of an oven for hours. Since there was not a tremendous amount of work to be done, there was plenty of time to chat and connect with my friends Simone and Helen. You can check out Helen’s post on our goodies here, and be sure to watch Simone’s YouTube Video and post as well.

The rooftop pool at Sojo Spa

#3 Go to a Korean Day Spa

Korean Day Spas are growing in popularity across the country. I personally have been to the Sojo Spa in NJ a few times and love being able to spend time with a friend in this environment. These spas typically have an entrance fee that gives you access to all of the saunas and baths that the spa offers. Depending on your friend’s condition, they may benefit from a soak in an oxidized bath or from a quick chill inside of an Ice Room. Many of these spas offer additional services, with my personal favorite being a reflexology treatment.

Snuggly blankets make for happy days

#4 Cozy Clothes or Blanket

If you want to get something for your Galentine, I would highly recommend some cozy clothes or a blanket. Most chronic illness warriors spend a lot of time in their lounge wear, so gifting them some silky duds will surely make their day. I personally love any of the soft items found in the Lou & Grey collection and I especially love clothes without tags for my extra-sensitive days. When my fibro flares, the tag at the back of a shirt can drive me insane. Another great line at a lower price point is the Stars Above line at Target. Their clothing and pajamas are unbelievably soft and quite chic. Finally, you can never go wrong with a soft blanket or throw that they can use on the couch – AKA their home base most days.

#5 A personalized, sentimental gift

Chronic illness is an isolating experience. You spend a great deal of time alone: in bed, at doctor’s offices, in the hospital – so little reminders that there are people there to support you are always appreciated. I have always loved photo books or shadow boxes created by friends that I can put up in my room to look at on bad days. Hand-written letters or a thoughtful note can make the difference on a lonely day. Consider creating a photo album or having a photo book printed for your friend. These gifts will be cherished long after Galentine’s Day is over and will do more to lift your friend’s spirit than you could ever know.

There are a million ways to show a sick loved one that you care – what’s important is making the effort to show them your support. To my fellow chronic illness friends – what are some of the most thoughtful gifts you have received? Let me know in the comments below. Wishing everyone a love-filled Valentine’s or Galentine’s this year <3

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Giving My Boot the Boot

Boats and Boots
(peep the top of my ortho boot)

I had worked so hard…

This August, on a trip to celebrate my 1 year anniversary of tackling my fibromyalgia, I tripped. More specifically, I fell HARD onto the cobblestone streets of Newport, Rhode Island. I was in sensible shoes, in perfect health (all things considered), and was not rushing or being careless. It was as if my ankle just up and quit on me and took the rest of my corporal body with it.

This is a real setback, coming just in the moment when things were starting to go so well.

Luciano Figueroa

I didn’t deserve this. I had spent an entire 12 months doing everything I could to feel better. I quit my job, changed my diet, paid for every therapy, taken every vitamin that had a chance to help me, challenged myself through every workout – so how could I have been dealt this setback? The immediate flush of anger was almost more extreme than the pain in my ankle/foot.

I was, in a word, miserable. I had worked so hard for an entire year to regain my freedom and independence. My fibro had kept me from friends, family, and fun for the bulk of 2017 & 2018 and I was elated to be able to do so much for the beginning of 2019. Suddenly finding myself with my foot in what felt like a bear trap was debilitating. I was filled to the brim with negative emotions and I could not believe that a simple stumble could have undone a year of hard work in an instant.

This was bad, really bad

Subsequent X-rays and MRI’s would show that my ATFL (Anterior talo-fibular ligament) was completely torn. This ligament runs along the outside of your ankle and basically keeps you from rolling your ankle when you move or stand on your toes. I had to make the decision between surgery or living with it torn (as ligaments to not repair themselves) and going through extensive physical therapy. Due to the complications that my fibro could cause post-operatively, I made the decision to try and rebuild the area with PT and avoid surgery for the time being.

The recovery process began with 8 weeks in an orthopedic boot and 2 weeks of almost no weight bearing. The first 2 weeks I was essentially confined to my 1-bedroom apartment and when I went to work I had a knee scooter to get around. In the weeks that followed, I was allowed to get out for small periods of time, but standing for more than 5 minutes was almost impossible and since it was my driving foot, I was reliant on others for rides that were more than 10 minutes away.

An uphill battle began

My first PT session was a mental nightmare. I had not realized how bad the extent of my injury was because my foot had been inside of the boot. Being asked to roll a ball back and forth or trace the alphabet with my toes was genuinely impossible. I broke into frustrated tears and felt sharp fibro pains shoot up my leg as I attempted the motions. My physical therapist was patient and fed me multiple platitudes like “setbacks only make for bigger comebacks!” For the first few sessions, I was certain it would never get better.

What this time in my life showed me more than anything else was how dependent I was on being well. So much of my identity was hinged on my ability to completely overcome a challenge. I had been proud of my ability to “beat” my fibro into submission and reclaim a “normal” life, so finding myself in more pain than before and unable to do the things I want was disheartening. The pain in my ankle flared all of my symptoms back up and I felt like I had to start from scratch. More than anything, I realized that I had to work on my mindset.

Fibromyalgia was not going to be beat, bested, or put behind me. It was going to be a part of my life for the rest of my life and allowing myself to be this defeated all but guaranteed that I would remain in pain. Stress agitates my symptoms and allowing my mind to stress itself out was detrimental – there were already external stresses that I had no control over, I did not need me on top of it.

A light up ahead

About 5 PT sessions in, I started to notice dramatic changes. I was getting stronger. I was able to transition into a brace and then a compression sleeve. The more that I focused on myself and my well-being, the faster I progressed. I was grateful for the friends and family who recognized the toll being at home was having on me and reached out to offer rides or come over and spend time with me.

I am technically still supposed to be in a support brace most days, but I said goodbye to my brace (with the blessing of my PT) back in November. I have blown the expectations my recovery team had for my rehabilitation out of the water and I am not prepared to stop now. Does my ankle still hurt on rainy days? Is it swollen a few days out of the week? Am I likely never going to be able to fully trust it the way I could before? “Yes” to all of these questions. But also “Yes” to living life on my terms and at my own pace.

I would love to hear about obstacles you have overcome – whether they were chronic illness related or not. Let me know down below!

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